I was recently at Max's swim lesson and this adorable mom sat next to me and we started chit chatting. She was a kindergarten teacher. She was sweet and soft spoken yet seemed to ooze fun-ness. She was exactly the kind of woman that I would want Max to have as his Kindergarten teacher. She asked me how old Max was. I told her he just turned three. She immediately followed up with "Ohh are you going to put him in preschool?" She went on to tell me that she could really tell a difference between the kids who did go and the kids that did not. This got me thinking. Should I have Max in preschool already? Was he missing out on crucial learning and developmental activities? Each day Max and I work on reading, writing, counting, colors etc and I also make sure we have regular play dates with other kids his age as much as possible.
But with that said, do you think preschool is necessary? Or do you feel like it is just another "thing" we fill our kids lives with? I would love to hear your thoughts on this either way.
54 comments:
We have put all 5 of our children in pre-school and have noticed all of their personalities shine extra big once they have started. They have exceeded more than we could have hoped in school and they all love it!
I am curious about the same thing! Mine isn't anywhere near the age to go, but since I'm home with him and can teach him all that stuff and do lots of play dates, is it necessary. I wonder if going just one year before kindergarten to get them used to the schedule is enough.
I never went to preschool and neither of my kids have or will go to preschool. That being said, I was a substitute preschool teacher for awhile and know how valuable it can be. I think as long as you are working with your kids at home and allowing them to interact with kids their own age in both structured and non-structured environments then I think they will be fine. Every child is different and you have to do what is right for your family. Nobody knows your child better than you. I say, enjoy the time you have with him now :)
We sending Wil to preschool 2 days a week for 3 hrs because I feel he needs the social intereaction, the structure, and learning to listen to adults who aren't family in a respectful way. He turned 3 in August. We don't work on reading and all as much in a structured on sit down at the table it is time to study way. Of course we read often, he knows his colors and shapes and when he is curious about something we work on it then. He can count to at least 10 although he doesn't like to admit to it & sings his ABC's pretty good on his own but with help can get them all. He also recognizes his own name so I think I could easily teach him at home because he is responsive to it but I think preschool is about more that basics of "book" learning it is social and emotional too. Just my opinions though :)
I am not a mom, in fact I still depend on mine, but I felt the need to say this: as a kid, I never went to preschool. In fact, me and my twin sister never wanted to, we went for like a year, didn't like at all and ended up going back home. We had each other to play with and my mom was a stay at home mom, so we were fine. And to be honest, I don't think your kid's missing out. I never had that experience and I was always top of my class and a really good student :)
I'm a preschool school teacher and I can tell you it's not really that crucial. If kids have a parent like you who is working on the skills they'll need in Kindergarten then there is no need to send them. A lot of parents do it honestly for "me" time which I think is quite silly. Also, a lot of parents don't want to teach their child any thing at all and want someone else to teach them how to hold a pencil and recognize their name etc. If a child is overly shy or something sometimes parents send them to get comfortable being in a class setting. But I really don't feel it's called for most of the time.
xo,
Em
I don't think that preschool is necessary...I don't think that we'll be sending our son (2) to preschool.
You're teaching him a lot by interacting with him, being with him, teaching him about others, etc... but I have alternative ideas on school in general as well, and we may be homeschooling...
Best of luck with your decisions...remember you can ALWAYS change if it's not working for you and Max!
I went to preschool. My sister didn't.
I'm by far the most outspoken one. I make friends very easily, I will talk the hind leg off a donkey and tend to do things without thinking :-)
My sister is very quiet, very reserved, and, dare I say, socially awkward. BUT - she is incredibly artistic, she's a dancer, and very smart.
Did going / not going to preschool make a difference to us? I don't know. I'd never thought about it until I read this post. Interesting thoughts! Would we have grown up the same regardless - as in, is that just our personalities? I'd be inclined to say yes.
I think it's great and important that you guys are working on basic learning at home. I will say the reason I'm happy my son is in preschool right now is that he is learning a structure I can't provide necessarily. He was at an in-home daycare before this (I work outside the home) and he loved just playing all day long. But the transition to school was very hard because he had to learn how to follow a structured day and to learn sometimes it's time to work even when you want to play, etc. As well as he has cool art projects, spanish class, music class, etc that we don't exactly do at home. Even though he knew all of his colors, letters, etc, he has THRIVED since going to preschool. But that is also his personality--he has issues with transitions in general, so I am happy we worked on this transition earlier than later. I think (for him) if we waited til the first day of kindergarten it would have been a huge shock for him. Depends on the kid!
I Definitely think preschool is necessary! We only did one year of preschool though, when Jasper had just turned 5 and it made a huge difference for when he started kindergarten the next year. I was like you and worked with him at home, but preschool is more (i think) about learning how to interact with kids in a school setting (playdates and gymnastics/music class don't count- we did all that:) and following school/class rules, working together, figuring out how to do it all without mom there etc. Iti was a huge adjustment for Jasper and he loved it but it was a big change from being home with mom for 4 years! We only did two mornings a week and that was definitely enough to get him ready for kindergarten! His elementary is very competitive and top 10 in the state so maybe it's different else where, but they expect their kindergartners to come in and be able to get right to work pretty much first day of school! Jasper had a bit of a rough go the first month, and I'm convinced it would have been WAY harder had he not already had 'practice' at preschool!
I taught Kindergarten before becoming a SAHM and I think preschool makes a HUGE difference in their experience in K.
It is not all about what you're teaching them at home, etc. but what they learn from being a part of a group, the routines, taking turns, learning to sit and listen to a book with other wiggly bodies around them, learning to speak up for themselves in a crowd of kids (i.e. I have to go to the bathroom, etc).
My kids will absolutely be doing as much preschool as I can provide them with -- and even Jr. Kindergarten if they're on the young side.
My main thought is that I would want to provide them with the extra experience in a school setting, because school isn't all about academics it is also about learning to operate in group.
My 4 yr old son just started pre-school. He was so ready to go to school and eager to learn. We also have a 22 month old boy and a 6 month old girl so you can imagine how busy my days at home are. I work with my kids as much as i can but my 4 yr old is ready for structured learning. He's in an asesome school and his grandma happens to be his teacher - what more could a kid ask for? He goes 3 days per week for 3 1/2 hours. He was actually pretty upset when I told him he didn't have school today! We didn't consider 3 yr old pre-school as we didn't think he needed it.
My 4 yr old son just started pre-school. He was so ready to go to school and eager to learn. We also have a 22 month old boy and a 6 month old girl so you can imagine how busy my days at home are. I work with my kids as much as i can but my 4 yr old is ready for structured learning. He's in an asesome school and his grandma happens to be his teacher - what more could a kid ask for? He goes 3 days per week for 3 1/2 hours. He was actually pretty upset when I told him he didn't have school today! We didn't consider 3 yr old pre-school as we didn't think he needed it.
As long as you're having play dates, you're not missing out on much. We sent our girls to pre-school mostly for the socialization, as well as the discipline, learning to follow directions from a teacher, raising your hand, etc. But I don't think it gives kids an advantage. In fact, kindergarten isn't even required in our state! So you could even wait until first grade to send him :)
I say YES! My oldest daughter has been in an early childhood center or preschool environment and it has made a world of difference for her. Even though my husband is a preschool teacher and she learned a lot from us teaching her and challenging her she still has learned more developmental and social skills that she wouldn't always get at home. I can tell her transition to kindergarten will be much easier than if she was just at home with me or in a home daycare.
My oldest never went to preschool, how ever she was in daycare and she still a lot of things they
do in preschool and had a great kindergarten year.
My twins just turned three and for the first couple of years I was sure I wasn't going to send them to pre-school until about a month ago. They play really well with others and have to problem being apart, as long as they know where the other one is, but I think they will benefit from little bit of structure and more importantly one of them needs to understand that she will be away form me for a little while for a few days a week.
I am a huge advocate for home education! So I am going to say that what you are doing is fine....He is a baby and needs to be with his momma :) I have full confidence that you can teach him what he needs to know!
Necessary, no. Does it make a difference, yes. I taught preschool (2 year olds) for many years. My girls both went to preschool/MMO starting at age 2 (two days a week, built up to 4 days when they were 4-half days mind you).
A couple of reasons why I feel it is a good thing:
1) Social Interaction-yes you are doing that now, but are you always with him? It is different in mom is not in the picture.
2) Learning to adapt to different styles of teaching...not everyone is going to be MOM.
3) Not sure about where you are, but here Kindergarten is FULL day...it is a HUGE adjustment for those who have never been in a school setting or away from mom for that long.
4) Learning to adapt to change.
5) Interaction with children they might not be "best buds" with. Let's face it...you usually play with the same kids. They learn to make new friends, and accept others outside their comfort zone.
I will also say, I taught my children at home as well. Academically, their needs were met at home. Socially, not so much. Yes, we had play dates. Went on trips with friends, etc. But again...they were comfortable with those people.
To this day, some of my girls and my favorite memories are of preschool. My girls still keep in contact with several of their teachers. They are so proud of how far the girls have come! It really is a blessing.
On a last note. It has been in preschool settings that many things have come to light (speaking from experience)...my friend's daughter's speech problem was diagnosed and intervention started at a very early age. Other learning disabilities too are often noticed. And, sometimes the realization that a child with a late birthday is not quite ready for the next step.
Our son is starting his second year (age 5) and we will put our youngest in next year (at age 4). I wouldn't go so far as to say it's crucial, but I'm so, so happy with our decision. I don't necessarily send him for the "education", but for the social aspect. Learning how to interact with other kids, listening to someone other than Mom, having something to call just his own, following rules, learning how to be away from Mom and getting comfortable with the transition. THESE are the reasons we love it. That being said, I wouldn't just send him to the first preschool you see. We have a fabulous Montessori environment with the most wonderful teachers! I just strongly feel that no matter how much we worked together at home, it is a completely different relationship between student/teacher.
Plus, the time I get to spend with baby brother is pretty rad.
And I have to just throw this out there, I don't think a parent doing something for "me" time is silly at all. As long as your child is healthy, happy and thriving where they are at, there is NOTHING wrong with trying to go to the grocery store by yourself. Or read a book or something crazy like that.
I just found your blog not long ago from doing Paleo searches :) My husband and I have been eating paleo/primal for a long time now so that's how I found your recipes!
My son is a little over 3.5 and he just started a little in-home preschool. Just two days a week for two hours. I don't feel is necessary until he's four or older, but it's great for his social skills, taking direction from someone other than Mom or Dad and he just seemed so ready. We do lot of fun stuff at home, but this was what works best for us. I think it's a very individual thing and there is no right or wrong way to do things. Educate him in your home or not...it's up to you and he'll be just fine :)
Liz
lizdeanski.wordpress.com
Ooooh dangerous question. I'm not even gonna read the other comments, for fear of getting fired up and going on a rant.
I'll just say, our oldest two kids did not go to preschool, and Laney will not go to preschool. Glorified daycare if ya ask me. I'm biting my tongue after that....
I don't think it is necessary. The reason for "pre" school is to get them ready for kindergarten. You are doing that already. The only nice thing I could see is to get him prepared to listen to a non-family adult. I don't think there is a need to overschedule our kids from day one with sports, activities, school, etc.
If you have the time to teach you child at home I think that's great. My daughter started a toddler pre-school (half day) at 2 and I notice big changes after she started. Her school has a set curriculum. She learns way beyond colors and numbers. She is speaking little Spanish (besides Dora), knows the different modes of transportation, talks about fossils and constellations. I would never have thought to teach her those things. I say cram as much stuff in their brains while they enjoy learning!
I'm a first grade teacher, and speaking from my own experience, we can definitely tell the difference between students who have attended pre-school entering Kindergarten, and those who start fresh out of the gate. It's not a purely academic thing either - mostly the students who enter K without pre-school are lacking socialization schools (even if they have older/younger siblings). SKills like how to take turns talking, raise your hand, share a toy, play a game together, all of these crucial life skills are taught and navigated through beginning in pre-school so that when these children arrive in K they have a social maturity and advantage to their newby counterparts. Just my 2 cents as a teacher. However, I do recognize that every child is unique and different - and making the decision to enroll in pre-school or not truly depends on the child, the family and their situation, and it's a personal decision that differs from child to child.
I've read your blog for a while but never commented. I don't have kids, am connected to the education world, and this is just my opinion...but, I don't think preschool is necessary at all. You obviously spend lots of time with your boys and are an involved, loving parent, looking for a variety of activities for Max. If he wants to go to preschool and you want to send him - go for it! If not, don't.
If you feel like Max might be missing out, maybe look into some shorter programs - a gymnastics or art class, perhaps - that he could do once or twice a week.
For what it's worth, I never went to preschool either and did fine in school and never seemed to have trouble making friends. Good luck!
Hi Lindsay,
Today was/is my 3 year old first day of School. There is an early child center inside of our Elementary School. I very anxious to find out how he is doing and I felling weird at home by myself. I do believe that is going to be a great experience for him. When my son was around 6 months old until 2 I overloaded him with music classes, gym classes, swimming classes, park/playground playdates that was making me go insane. I just decided since last winter to enjoy more home activities, walks around our neighbor and just had him signed for soccer classes for Spring. The summer we spent at the pool and I think it was a great move, since I don't have to be driving around back and forth. Now he's starting 2 days a week full days, yesterday was the preview day and since we came home he was asking to go back all the time. This morning the first thing he said was that he wanted to go back. Well, I'm not sure whats the right answer to your question, but I do believe that you have to do what you think is the best for you and him. Mine turned 3 last month.
It sounds like you're doing a wonderful job, but may not be considering other benefits. I think the commenter Simply LKJ makes some GREAT points. My daughter is 2 and is going to pre-school 1 day a week for 2.5 hours, and we'll slowly increase that each year as she approaches kindergarten. To the pre-K teacher above who commented that pre-school isn't really necessary: I don't get it; if you don't believe in what you teach, why do you teach it?
I've been wondering the same thing recently! I never planned to send our daughter (who's almost 4) until our pediatrician strongly suggested it. She is very bright and doesn't need the ABC-123 part, but she's also very loud and "in your face" and would probably benefit from the social aspect.(learning to raise you hand, use an inside voice, take turns, etc.) I'm still on the fence though because she has a late birthday, and will not be going to Kindergarten until a week before her 6th birthday. That alone may make her more mature than most of her classmates.
Lindsay it all depends on you. I do disagree with remarks made by Emma, respectfully I don't think parents do it for me time but rather giving kids their space and time. I spent a lot of time with my kids working on colors, numbers etc. but I feel the interaction with other kids give them the confidence of dealing with the world. I have friends who did not send thier kids to any preschool and worked on them at home. I sent both my kids to preschool my younger is 3 and loves it. It is all your decision and what works for you. I do think they become more aware of their surroundings.
Lindsay it all depends on you. I do disagree with remarks made by Emma, respectfully I don't think parents do it for me time but rather giving kids their space and time. I spent a lot of time with my kids working on colors, numbers etc. but I feel the interaction with other kids give them the confidence of dealing with the world. I have friends who did not send thier kids to any preschool and worked on them at home. I sent both my kids to preschool my younger is 3 and loves it. It is all your decision and what works for you. I do think they become more aware of their surroundings.
I have sent all three of my children to playschool and pre-K but it is mostly for the social aspect as well as learning how to be in a structured environment with a large group of kids. But I don't think it is needed if you are doing everything at home. Each child is such an individual so what they get out of it might be different than the next child. ~ Lisa
You have to do what you believe is right for your child and that will be the correct choice for both of you. I personally have mine in preschool because I feel that I am a better person and mom working. I had them home for a while and none of us were happy. From your blog you sound like an amazing mother and I have no doubt your children are learning what they need from you. :)
I work in education policy with a focus on early childhood. Preschool can most definitely be supplemented by very engaged parents (and you clearly are). However, I will say that California, like 45 other states had recently adopted more rigorous kindergarten standards that have much higher expectations for students. A good preschool will have their lessons aligned to those new K standards to be sure kids are prepared as possible for K. Lessons at a good prek should be incorporated into play. Does Max NEED it? No, not if you are a really engaged parent. But could he benefit from it to ensure he is as prepared for K as the rest of his classmates? Absolutely. If you want to look up the new K standards, they are a part of the Common Core State Standards. If you educate yourself on them and make sure you are preparing him for them, then I'd say you're good to go! Was that confusing enough!?!? :)
I'm not a parent but am in education, and my biggest argument for preschool isn't about the academic content but about the social growth and like learning routines and respecting rules.
I teach kindergarten and yes, a teacher can tell the difference (almost immediately) between a child who has gone to preschool and one who hasn't. However, sending your child at 3 years old when you are a mom who actively works with you child and provides social opportunities for him/her, preschool isn't necessary just yet. Let your babies be your BABIES! Don't push them out of the house too soon, especially if you're a stay at home mom and are willing to put in the extra effort to work with your child on learning at home. Not only is this a great way to bond with your child one on one but it's a great way to establish how important learning is to you and your family...you're just setting up those expectations. Sending you child to preschool when you work a full-time job is a great alternative to the mom or dad who can't spend that extra time at home. I think 4 is just the right age when a child is ready for preschool! Keep doing what you're doing...looks like Max enjoys his "school time!"
I have 6 children and I have not sent any to preschool and they all have turned out wonderfully.
They are only young for a little while. Love and enjoy them all you can!!! Soon enough they will be gone and you will miss them.
I sent mine, but I think choosing not to send them is perfectly fine, too! Especially if you are working with them at home. If you choose to send them, the general rule of thumb is they go as many days a week as they are old. So 3 year old would go 3 days. NOT 3 full days though! Mine went from 9:30-12:30. It was NOT rigorous, but fun & structured just to get them used to the routine of a school day. However I have many friends that did not send, and their kids are just fine in Kinder. Do what feels right for your family! :)
I am a reading intervention teacher, former 1st grade teacher and there was a time, back in the 1/2 day K years, when I would have said you're fine not sending your little ones to preschool, especially if you are proactive at home with learning skills and socialization. However, with the advent of full-day K, which is academically rigorous compared to K of the past, I would recommend at least one year of preschool as an introduction to school without all the pressure... A good pre-K program is a great way to ease into school and gives your child good foundation. I sent both of my girls to a mother's day out program, 3 year old preschool, 4 year old preschool... that was my preference, although I don't think it's necessary!
I think it's really only needed if a parent is working. If a child has a stay at home parent I just don't see any need for it at all. There is such a push to educate our child young, to separate them from us and for them to "grow up" and know everything yesterday. It makes me sad:( we didn't do preschool with our kids and won't with our baby. We do homeschool now! A decision I have never once regretted in 9 years!
Love that you brought this topic up! I was just talking with a friend about this yesterday how I feel like everyone is making me feel like I need to have W in school already [he isn't even one!!!]! Sounds like you providing exactly what he needs at this age! Oh and now I am going to make a cinnamon banana mug cake...YUM!
I think that is really depends on your situation and your child. In my son's case it is very necessary he go to preschool before kindergarten. Because I am a full time working mom outside of the home, I don't have the chance to go over as much with him. So he needs the chance to learn and practice his letters, numbers, etc. However, if I could stay home with him to go over those things I wouldn't put him in preschool, I would just do as you are doing and educate him at home. Best of luck with finding what is right for you and your child.
I agree with anonymous about the social factor. I have a 3 year old that I want to send to preschool when she is 4 just for the socialization and structure alone because it is just me and her at home a lot and I can see she would greatly benefit from it in that regard. But I agree it is your own decision and whatever works best for you and your child is best!
I agree with everyone about the social factor, being part of a group, listening, taking turns etc. I am hoping to send my little one to preschool next year. But I agree it is your own decision and whatever works best for you and your child is best!
I think preschool is necessary for kids as they learn to mix with other kids, stay away from parents. Preschool makes difference in kids, check my experience here - http://www.vslittleworld.com/2013/12/preschool-for-2-year-old-yes-or-no.html
I am a non native speaker, the only reason consider pre k is the delay on my son's speech. I want him to learn the things that I did not learn as a child. If I am a native speaker and stay home mother I will not send him to.
So I know this is a bit of an old topic but wanted to chime in because I've actually be thinking the same thing. My daughter is 3 1/3 (will be 4 in april) and at first I was 100% pro-preschool but after researching options in our area, I've found that those in Spokane Wa are basically glorified daycares. I grew un in CA and preschool for us was 2-3 days a week from 9-noon. Here its M-F 9-5 because they plan for the 'working parent.' Well I work but I'm off at 10am each morning and don't wanna lose my kid for the entire day.
At first I thought I was making her miss out on opportunities but then I found this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h11u3vtcpaY and while its not pre-school, I still think its a good view out the way our education systems are heading so I've decided to homeschool her pre-school ( a luxury I know most families don't have ) and am considering homeschooling her elementary school. She's in gymnastics and we go to storytime/playtime at the library so I don't think socialization will be an issue....
I did not send my kids to preschool. I don't think it is necessary. My children had other social outlets going to church and playdates with friends. They were very well adjusted and intelligent. I worked with them at home teaching them basics at their pace. The one on one attention they received from me was superior to what they would have received in a classroom setting in a preschool. I hear people say the kids who don't go to preschool are not as prepared for Kindergarten as the kids who do. However, all the studies suggest that they catch up quickly academically because of the increase of maturity level. In other words, what they would have learned at three they can learn quickly at five because they are more developed. So it is a matter of what is important to you. It was more important to me to have the bonding time with my kids while they were babies. I wanted their personalities to develop ( not fully developed until 5) under my influence and their father's influence instead of teachers. As well meaning as they may be, they were not capable of being able to look out for their best interests as well as we were. The number one need of a child of that age is to feel secure and loved. If you are giving that to the child at home they are getting what they need. The rest will come later. I started school in the first grade and I was at the top of my class.
I think every parent knows their kid best. I sent my first at 18 months--one day a week and then the next year 2 and then 3. But I will say that we missed a whole bunch of pre-k which was a waste of money. I guess I just felt like if she wanted to stay home that day, then that's okay. I'm not sure I will send my second. Maybe when she's four. I honestly think it's so expensive and what truly matters is being with mommy
This post is making me nervous. My child is at a home daycare currently (day home) and I work full time. I don't have the option of doing preschool because how would I get him there and back again? We can't leave our jobs during the day to do this and unlike kindergarden, bussing and after school care are not available for preschool. The comments are making me feel guilty and bad that my child won't have preschool. :(
Please be aware there are many bad preschools that are pushing so-called academic rigor. These schools are exposing young children to an "escalated curriculum," meaning practices that are not developmentally appropriate (too much sitting at Circle Time, calendar activities, worksheets). You should choose a preschool that follows the guidelines of the NAEYC (the National Association for the Education of Young Children). They are the largest group of early childhood professionals and recommend hands-on learning, open-ended art, and lots of play. There are no benefits to rigorous learning in preschool, but there are drawbacks as kids get overly stressed, act out, become aggressive, and simply lose interest in learning. Plus, they are many preschools that don't offer a safe environment for kids. The hitters and pushers can't be removed so the bullying we hear so much about in middle school and high school starts early!
Hi, this may seem like a late comment, but i was just wondering what you had decided on (pre k or no pre k)and how did it went for you? I just read this post and the insightful comments in here and it's quite an eye opener.
If you have a nursery school in your local school district that a high school child development class runs, that is also a good option. It gives the children an idea of what to expect in a school environment and gives them a chance to listen/take directions from other "adults" (an actual teacher and high school kids) other than parents/family. And I wouldn't worry about it being run by high school kids instead of teachers trained in early childhood. They're supervised by a certified and trained teacher, and they actually connect to the children because of their younger age than adults who may be more intimidating. My daughter attends one of these instead of an expensive pre-k, and they do a fantastic job! She attends 3 days a week for an hour and a half, which gets her feet wet with school without burning her out. They teach her to write her name, teach her weekly themes (letters, numbers, shapes, safety, etc.), and my once-shy kid has made some friends! Plus, you can't beat the cost - which they use only to cover supplies. We pay $35 for 12 weeks. So, look into a high school child development class because some of these high school kids do just as good of a job with these little kids as a head start! Keep in mind that a lot of the high school kids in these classes are interested in becoming education majors someday and will take it seriously.
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