This is a picture of Ronin's nursery without his crib. Why is the crib not in there? Well because I am sleep deprived and being sleep deprived makes you do crazy things like move your baby's crib into our room in hopes that it would "trick" him to sleep. It made perfect sense when I came up with the plan during a half awake 4am feeding. Nope it did not trick him. Sleep deprivation also makes you do things like eat a bowl of applesauce with flax seeds, coco powder, shredded coconut and a big spoonful of sunflower seed butter at 2 in the morning. It always sounds good when I am making it and then I have applesauce bowl of everything regret in the morning. Anywhoo...
Ronin, who is now 6 months old does NOT sleep. Well more like he stopped sleeping since he was 2 months old. I know I jinxed myself when I announced, "HOORAY my baby sleeps through the night like a champ, I am SOOO lucky!" He now wakes up every hour or so, I nurse him and then he goes back to bed...with me. If I try to put him somewhere else, like his crib he screams some more. He has ninja like baby sleep reflexes. Does it sound like I have no idea what I am doing? Well that is because I don't. I actually have no freakin clue how to get my baby to sleep and stay asleep.
Starting tonight I am officially putting Ronin's crib back in his room. Well actually my husband is taking it down (with all the bajillion parts it has) and moving it back AGAIN (yes I am a pain in the ass). My hope is that by the end of today I will know what to do.
I have read online all about the Ferber and Baby Wise methods but I want to hear from someone who has actually used something like that and was successful all while keeping a happy baby.
So if you have any tips or suggestions or want to share something that has worked for YOU I would love to hear!
70 comments:
Ugh. Baby sleep is SO frustrating! Alice is 9 months old and is FINALLY sleeping thru the night (6P-6:30A) but it took many months of sleep-deprivation to get there. She was in our room (crib + some co-sleeping) till 6 months, then we moved her to her own room. My only suggestion (and maybe this is totally obvious) is keep an identical routine each night. Also... do you use a lovey with Ronin? I would nurse Alice with her lovey between us and then she eventually started to associate it with me and now she is OBSESSED with her lovey... and she keeps him in her little hands all night. Since she associates it with me, I think it helps her to self-soothe when she wakes up.
Also... once we introduced solids and formula (I stopped nursing her at 8 months)... her body stopped getting used to those middle of the night feedings.
Good luck! You are an amazing Mommy, regardless of how much Ronin sleeps! XO.
My oldest is a co-sleeper. He is 3 now and in his own room, but we bought a full size bed because most nights for at least a few hours one of us sleeps in it with him. When we talk to him about sleeping alone, he says, "But I like sleeping with you." And to be honest? We like cuddling with him too. He is not going to want to co-sleep forever. My youngest? From day one has preferred to sleep alone and has slept a solid 7-8 hours.
My stepmom had the best advice--she said to let go of the "rules" and do whatever gets all of you the most sleep. That meant, until just a couple of weeks ago, that my hubby and oldest slept in our master bedroom, and I slept with our youngest in her room (I was in a guest bed and she was in the crib!).
Hello! I don't have any children, BUT I love sleeping, so I am sorry to hear this is a struggle. :-)
Caitlin at Healthy Tipping Point has been writing a lot about sleep training recently (http://www.healthytippingpoint.com/category/sleeping). While I have no actual experience with this, her posts have seemed very informative. Maybe a place to start?
Good luck!
Kate
I feel your pain, momma! I had the same issue with both of my babies and couldn't bring my self to stick with the cry it out thing.
One thing I've heard that can work is getting baby to sleepy and waking them up slightly when you put them in the crib so that they have a second to realize where they are before drifting off to sleep. That way they're not all where the hell am I?! And where's my momma?!!!
Not sure if that will work for you, but it's a thought!
oh friend! I read a book called 12 hours sleep by 12 weeks!! check it out on amazon. you will feel like you are sleeping less while training. but if you stick with it, it will work :)
I AM EMAILING YOU NOW :) on details .!
For both of my kids (now 4 1/2 and 1), and let them cry it out starting at 8 weeks. The first time they'd cry, we would go right in and comfort them without picking them up, then leave within two minutes. Then if they cried again we would wait 5 minutes before going in, then 10, 15 and so on. I don't think we ever made it to 25 minutes. We also followed a bedtime routine with each of them religiously. Good Luck!!
Lindsay - I did a bit of Ferber with both my girls. With my oldest (now 12 yrs), I was more hardcore about it. She was a great sleeper from 3 months on. With my baby girl (now 2.5 yrs), I would let her cry no more than 5 minutes and then rescue her. I did not let her sleep in my bed. I would just rock her on the couch, feed her, and put her back to sleep. It took her longer to sleep all night w/o waking up once. She still gets up during the night once in a while but does pretty well. Jenny
I did that did the exact same thing my oldest and one day I decided she just had to sleep in her room. She slept through the whole night and had no trouble at all.
I hope it can go as smoothly for you.
I am so sorry to hear that you are having a hard time. Unfortunately I am one of those lucky people who had two babies who slept through the night from 2 months on. My eldest daughter didn't like falling asleep but once she was sleeping, she stayed asleep till morning. Keep positive, I am sure you will find the solution for your little angel. Sending positive vibes your way. Wish I could give more help.
I completely agree with Megan. You have to let hin cryit out. It's hard but worth it. Lots of deep breaths!!
I have done a modified baby wise with all my kids ( I have 4 - #5 on the way) and they all slept through the night at 6 weeks and never wake up still..... So.... All day after I feed them I do everything I can to keep them awake - basically teaching them food is for energy not comfort and sleep (a good lesson to learn). I don't do the every three hours thing or worry about specific times, I just feed when they are hungry then keep them awake to play until they are exhausted. They go to sleep well and wake up hungry. THEN - at night I feed in the nursery with the lights down, freshly diapered and bathed and put the baby straight to bed after eating. I NEVER put them to bed already asleep. They quickly realize that this is different - Mom is not playing with me and I am in bed and learn to self soothe and go to sleep alone. Honestly, I only had one (my son) that cried for about 10 minutes the first night and then after that he liked the alone time and drifted off to sleep alone.
Good luck - sleep training is so so so important! I actually have a lot of friends call me to walk them through it when they have babies. I tell them it is about teaching your kids a proper relationship with food at a young age and also that to have time alone is good and ok. Also that they CAN help themselves;)
We've all been here. (4x here!) Crying it out can help. My first thought is why are you nursing him every hour?? I don't think your body can actually replenish itself that fast. It is very typical that if you offer to nurse him, he'll take you up on it. YOU have become his human pacifier. How often does he nurse during the day? However long that is you know for sure he can go that long in between nursing. (ie if he nurses every 3-4 hours during the day he should be able to go that long at night) BUT.... your baby at two months WAS sleeping through the night so actually, you know that he can sleep a lot longer. best wishes!K
Oh this is a familiar scene....The crib was in our room from day one for our second son (it's one of those stokke's on wheels and it's small so it fits through the doorway) I thought it would just be temporary but then something happened..I started nursing him in bed and falling asleep sitting up, then I had this genious idea to nurse him laying down in bed and we'd get more sleep! Indeed we did, until he got bigger and started moving everywhere and didn't want to sleep and thought it was play time in our bed. so I think at that point i put him in his crib in his room...and were talking 6 months here...That didn't help. Like you I was up every hour almost like clockwork. I didn't have the heart to let him cry it out because he's my baby. So I would just nurse him back to sleep. I finally at about 8 months decided to read the Baby Whisperer. That method did not work for us. By this time he was standing up in his crib and it was almost impossible to stand there for an hour on end Shhshing him and laying him down. I think that method has to be started from the begining of the childs life. I think around 9 months we tried crying it out. I caved. We tried it again and stuck to it, I think it took 3 nights and he slept pretty good for about two weeks. Then one night he squawked and I went in there to nurse him (I must have been sleep walking!) It undid all our hard work of him crying:( so now at 13 he doesn't nurse at night but he does wake up about 3 times a night crying because his passy came out. Like you said I have no idea what i'm doing because I have a 4 year old that cried it out as a baby and it took him 2 nights and ever since then has been a dream sleeper. I think crying it out is the only way, it's hard and painful and you'll cry, but Ronin will still wake up smiling at you in the morning! Put your ipod in and listen to some music while he's crying. Best wishes!
i wish i had known kristi way back when! the things you will do just to sleep are endless... i remember becoming almost superstitious about what worked and what didn't because i was so lost and exhausted. I hope all of this advice helps you and your baby lindsay. thank goodness for the internet and a way to reach out beyond your immediate circle and for all of the kind people out there who truly want to help.
sweet dreams soon, i hope!
My daughter is 16 months old and still wakes throughout the night to nurse. We have a futon mattress next to her crib so that we can cuddle and sleep together. I'm against CIO methods and I honestly love sleeping next to my little girl. We're both very well-rested!
I came across "happiest baby on the block", and Dr. Karp says to have LOUD ambient noise in the room (as loud as the shower) all night long, and at every nap time. So I play my ipod on repeat "crashing waves" This TOTALLY helped us. I think Quinn is such a light sleeper, that ANY noise would disturb her. Also, Dr. Karp reccomended cluster feeding--so I will nurse, then feed some solids, then nurse again at bedtime.
After we made these changes, Quinn was back to sleeping from 6:30pm-7am almost every night. Occasionally one waking around 3, but nurses back to sleep.
Hope this helps!
Just remember that babies have the most keen sense of smell, especially when it comes to smelling their mama and her milk! If he smells you he is naturally going to want to be close to you! Perhaps increasing the distance (moving his crib back into his own space) will help. Be prepared for a few weeks of transition as he gets used to the new situation, but the crying and frequent waking should subside!
Yeah well, welcome to my life. hahahahaha Laney is 10 months and goes to sleep in her room every night, but when she wakes up, which she ALWAYS does, I bring her into the bassinet in our room. Yes, a 10 month old in a bassinet. She has no room to move. But it saves me from having to get out of bed to feed her in the night. I was sure I was the only one still nursing all night long at this stage in the game. Little monsters. I try to tell myself that when she has outgrown it, I'll miss her wanting her mommy all the time. Our other two were on formula by three months, so I think that may have something to do with it. Ah well. At least we know they're healthy and eating well. Even if their mothers are dead to the world by 5pm. :o)
It looks like you are getting lots of advice! I hope something works for you and your family. My daughter didn't respond well to CIO and, for me, it felt so horribly wrong to do it anyway. Probably the best advice is find what works for your family and what gets everyone the most rest. My daughter didn't sleep longer than a 3 hour stretch for 2 1/2 years - so I really, really know how you are feeling. Hope things get better soon.
My first 3 were great sleepers, my 4th is 9 months and is just now sleeping through the night. I kept caving and nursing her back to sleep. We finally decided to plan a couple nights in a row where my husband didn't need to be anywhere too early the following day and he stayed up with her. Once she realized her food source wasn't coming to bail her out, she's slept fine ever since. It's so hard to function with not much sleep. It will get better!!
for me it worked at some point putting in his crib my peignoir...I had a very soft and thick one and I put it as if it were a sheet on his mattress. Feeling my smell and probably feeling as if he were in my arms made him sleep all night long. Give it a try, you have nothing to lose. Of course every time I washed it I also wore it for 2 days so it got my and my milk's smell back. Good luck!!!
Babywise worked overall well for us. The eat-wake-sleep cycle helped and is the main thing Dr. Bucknam emphasized with us. (He was our Ped until we moved. Still miss him!) Putting them to bed awake was important bc they learned to put themselves to sleep, instead of nursing them to sleep and trying to slip them into bed w/o waking. :)
He also told me I was training my 2nd kiddo to wake up and nurse bc I nursed him at night when he woke up. The baby was 4 months at that point. He said to make sure they were getting enough in the day so that they didn't NEED to nurse at night. Soothing them was fine, but NOT feeding.
Each child has been different, but all are good sleepers now.
BTW-In the first few weeks, he really just emphasized full feedings and the eat-wake-sleep cycle NOT scheduling. I think that gets misunderstood some times.
I used babywise with both of my girls and they were both sleeping well within a few months. I definitely agree with Kristi! just make sure to keep them awake after you feed them during the day and then at night do NOT play or hardly even talk to them when you feed them so that they don't think it is still play time. Also, the nightly routine helps, but make sure you like the routine because you will be doing it forever and the routine takes longer and longer to do as they get older. haha
We did the Ferber method successfully. In reading the book, I learned that you're not just walking away and letting your baby cry. You go back in increasing increments to let baby know you haven't abandoned him, you're just reminding him that you are there, but it's time to sleep. You actually build trust.
Worked on both kiddoes in 2-3 days, and the process wasn't that difficult. It changed me as a mother for the better because I wasn't angry and tired anymore.
Hope you find your best path!!
-Rebecca in TX
I hope you find something that works for you! I used Baby Wise and had good success. It isn't a magical fix over night, but it did work. The main part was being consistent. Good luck!
Oh Lindsay! My friend Kat is going through this exact same thing with her son - he's 4 months....but looks like he will be trending that way still in two months. I can't remember what we did with Mila. Haha. It was a blur. She was not pleased with whatever we decided...I do remember that. Is it because he likes to be held do you think? Maybe something like the Snuggle Nest? And just put it in his crib? We did do that with Mila, she liked feeling secure. I do remember letting her cry and I remember it being awful...but I also remember that it was a short period of time - as in maybe a week? Like a bandaid coming off. Then she kept getting better and better. I hope you find something that works for you. Sleep deprivation is awful! :(
Oh I remember those days! It is no fun! My oldest had to cry herself to sleep every.single.night and even at naptime! I would try to rock her to sleep or nurse her to sleep but she would wake up and cry anyway! We used to set the timer for 10 minutes and if she wasn't sleeping by then we would go into her room, make sure she was okay, pat/rub her back, tell her we loved her and then go out again for another 10 minutes. It is hard but eventually it does work! My friend (out of desperation) did the Ferber method on her baby and although it was a really hard week, it actually worked and the whole family FINALLY got some rest!
I know how sucky sleep deprivation is. I feel your pain. This is what I went through:
Baby 1: Cuddled and rocked her to sleep all the time and that was how she fell asleep so that's what I had to keep doing.
Baby 2: Always put him in his swing or sleep place to sleep, during the day he slept around the house and at night it was in his room. Around 5 months he was waking up in the night and I would go give him a bottle. I realized what he was doing and didn't go give him a bottle [let him fuss] and then he started sleeping through the night.
Baby 3: Similar to baby 2, she's not as fussy and when she goes in her crib she goes right to sleep.
We're pretty routine at our house so I think that helps a lot with Baby 3. Baby 2 is still a fusser about night time [not nap time though]. All kids are different and so are parents. Do what works for you, don't feel guilty about anything you do. If you want to lose sleep and cuddle and cherish those late nights then do that, they don't last forever. If you let him cry it out, don't feel bad about that. It's not going to make a miserable baby, and it will make a well rested momma which is best for everyone.
Pick up Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, by Marc Weissbluth Md. My little started sleeping through the night at 3 months but we started having major issues when we bought a new house and moved when she was 6 months old. I was tired, frustrated and sometimes even felt mad at her (which made me feel like a terrible mom b/c who gets mad at their 6 month old, right?). Anyway, I bought his book and while we didn't do CIO (not til 9 months when we finally realized we were going to have to let her CIO in order to stop swaddling) his "rules" for sleeping hours and naps were amazing. Can't recommend highly enough!
Pretty muvh just echoing what others are saying here. My youngest is 5 months old and we just did sleep training/ night weaning. I feel like I am on top of the world because I am getting a solid 8 hours of sleep now. We used Sleepeasy Solutions book. I read all of the sleep books with my oldest, and this one is the best- and easiest to read when you're sleep deprived. I highly recommend it. The first two nights were so hard, but they really do wake up happy, you are not scarring them in any way. My 5 month old is even happier during the day now because he is not overtired, and that goes for me too!
My boy got really bad at sleeping at this age too. No idea why. 'The Gift of Sleep' worked for us. 3 days! It's an ebook. Good luck!
Bettina @ www.littleoldsouls.com
Oh sleep deprivation... I know it well! At 6mos my little guy was waking every 1.5hrs to nurse at night. Our Dr reassured me that my son's weight gain was good and he did not need night nursing. We moved my little guy to his own room and when he woke up my husdband went in, instead of me. When my son realized he was not getting food, night wakings were less frequent.
Best of luck:)
I haven't read the other comments.. but wanted to give my 2cents. I am the mother of 3- none of who were great sleepers. I co-slept- I decided to take my 'easy' card first and deal with sleep training later. They all slept in my bed until 2 years (approx) and then moved into their own beds without much difficulty. With that said, we had to lie with them to get them to sleep for a while afterwards- that is normal i think.
My second comment is if you think your son is colicky or not sleeping due to a particulate reason?? My second has/had silent reflux (he doesn't spit up at all) since birth. He was colicky- he didn't nap, didn't like his car-seat, didn't like lying down... was comforted by nursing and being upright like in my carrier.
Not to scare you, but I did a whole elimination diet to see what he was sensitive to. It helped a great deal once i tweaked my diet- he was also on meds on and off until it improved. I know they say that diet during nursing doesn't matter but it was the opposite for me and especially for my second.
Ugg. I'm right there with you with our 7.5 week old. Was sleeping decent 3-4 hour stretches. Now it is 1-2 hour stretches. Here's wishing you luck!
HI, I'm a nanny and have been for over 10 years. The hardest part with babies is always sleep, but the best thing you can do for them is allow them to learn how to self-soothe. It may take 3 nights it may take 3 weeks but it will work if you let them cry it out. They fall asleep eventually and it's heart-wrenching but in the long run it works out. Not only do you get the ease of bedtime eventually but it carries over into their daytime demeanor as well. If they figure out that just because mommy leaves the room doesn't mean she isn't coming back then they won't be clingy babies that need to be held 100% of the time. It gives you and them some independence.
Letting them cry it out has worked for centuries, babies need sleep, that need will eventually win out over their wanting to be held
Swaddling first 4 months helped and since then we do sleep sack, pacifier, lovey blanket and play white noise on the iPod lightly all night. He is now 20 months and still follows this same pattern, and it works :).
I didn't use a cry it out method just b/c it would have been hard for me to discern if he was crying b/c he had a fever, was hungry, was in pain, needed a change or just wanted to be held a little more. Plus there are SO many periods of wakefulness, particularly in the first 12 mos, I didn't want to not respond when he was legitimately having a hard time, you know? I did a lot of different things over the first year and a half but definitely tried to keep it consistent. Specifically, one of the most useful techniques was in the book The Baby Whisperer. You always respond to the cries but once soothed, you immediately lay them down. And then do that on repeat until they understand that it is bedtime and that you always respond so they feel secure. It might take a week or two but I found it a little less disconcerting than ferber or babywise for us. Hope you find something that works for you!
My little man slept through the night at five months by way of "the sleep easy solution". This book emphasizes the fact that the whole family functions better when everyone is getting enough sleep. It is a cry it out method, but it is a kinder gentler choice that uses check ins. It takes about a week and it will be the sleepiest week of your life, but it is so worth it.
I pray for you and your family to be sleeping soundly soon :-)
Aww you poor thing, I feel your pain! My little boy is 5 months old now and he started sleeping really really well when we moved him into his own room at around 3 months. I think our sleep noises kept waking him up, so fingers crossed Ronin might sleep better when you move him back to his room. We haven't used any CIO, Ferber, Babywise, etc. The only thing I do is make sure he's not overtired (generally I put him to sleep/nap 1.5hrs after he wakes up from the previous one), and he just grumbles himself to sleep. Good luck momma!
Oh yes, I feel your pain. Our daughter was an awful sleeper too. I was against CIO for the longest time....but by 11 months, and poor sleep I was desperate. We did the no-cio and had some great success, but not full success. We caved and did CIO. After one night with fussing for 45 mins or so, and only one waking with 5 mins of crying, she was sleeping through the night!
I have babywised, co-slept, attachted parented, sleep trained, you name it... I've done it. I have 8 kids. The two things that I know for sure is "this too shall pass". And love covers a multitude of parenting mistakes. You and your baby are a team. You're going thru this together. And y'all will come out of it stronger.
I second the benefits of Dr. Weisbluth's Healthy Sleep habits, Happy Child! There is a solution for every age, every problem! I go back to it as my kids grow into different phases. Good luck, I know your pain!
I have two kids, 3 and 1 years, and both of them were horrible sleepers. People will tell you try this and try that and maybe it will work and maybe it won't, but don't blame yourself. Sometimes they will sleep when they are ready and nothing you do or don't do will change that. My one year old still gets up twice a night and we have tried everything. To all the people who say, well you just haven't done this or that, or you're doing it wrong! I want to say, you haven't met my daughter ;) That doesn't mean you shouldn't try, just try and relax if it doesn't work.
The other thing to keep in mind, especially if you are still breastfeeding (I am) is that babies have growth spurts where they will want to nurse constantly. I think these happen at 6 months, 9 months, 1 year (and a lot in the early months). You can look them up, but they usually only last a few days to up to a week and the babies will wake up more during this time.
Good luck and hang in there. He won't be waking up forever.
My SIL is experiencing the same thing with my 8 month old nephew who unlike their first child has never been a good sleeper and after trying everything in the world last week they read something about playing light rock music in the nursery and decided as crazy as it may sound to give a try and it has worked so far (granted it has only been a week so we'll see if it will continue!) Hang in there!
We did the Ferber method successfully. My husband had to convince me it was the right thing to do. It was SOOO hard at first to let our sweet boy cry, but we followed the book and it worked for us. I truly believe it was a good solution, for all of us. Good luck!
Dr. Weisbluth's Healthy Sleep habits, Happy Child!
Helped us very much! We now have a 3-year-old who is the best napper and sleeper out of all my friends!
Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, by Marc Weissbluth Md. It's a process, but it worked!
Co-sleeping is a wonderful thing!!!!!
Try the book "Solve your child's sleep problems" by Dr. Ferber. I would recommend reading it (Just the chapter on sleep training) because there are a billion misconceptions out there about the method. It worked for us with our first one. And let me tell you.... I was a wreak. Truth is, after the initial week, she slept better and was happier than prior to the sleep training.
Try the book "Solve your child's sleep problems" by Dr. Ferber. I would recommend reading it (Just the chapter on sleep training) because there are a billion misconceptions out there about the method. It worked for us with our first one. And let me tell you.... I was a wreak. Truth is, after the initial week, she slept better and was happier than prior to the sleep training.
Oh I feel you! My 21 month only started sleeping through the night at 16 months (weaned her at 14 months finally...so she is pretty stubborn!). I will tell you not to get too discouraged if all the tricks people above do not work. Honestly, NONE of them worked for me. The only thing that would give me any sleep was to let her cry, but cio didn't actually work like everyone says it did. She would CIO for hours and hours every single night. I wouldn't go in there because I was sleeping, but I would wake up every time she'd start up again which was almost all night long. Anyway, I'm sure this isn't super comforting, and hopefully you will be better off than I was. But I felt like such a failure because all the things that worked for everyone else didn't work for me. But now I know that every kid is different, and you just have to do what works. My little girl STILL has trouble sleeping, especially if anything is different in her routine or atmosphere or if anything is bothering her. Hopefully though, SOMETHING will work for you. Good luck :)
My first child was a BabyWise dream -- oh, and I thought I had found THE method, THE book, and was a great mom and a bag of chips. Then came baby #2. She slept at most 1.5 hrs at a time for THREE FULL YEARS. Terrible daytime behavior from her lack of sleep. Sleep training doesn't work for a kid who cries til she vomits. Or if it
What's frustrating is that people would say "oh my child didn't sleep til she was a toddler"... but I could tell by the way they said it that it was nowhere close to our situation. My ped finally took me seriously when I called up and said I needed help because I was fantasizing about crashing my car so that I could sleep in the hospital.
Here's what helped: She obviously was missing something, and so we started giving her melatonin at night, just a tiny bit of liquid. She slept through the night that first night -- we didn't know what to do with ourselves! She still has to take it to fall asleep. I would also recommend putting a crib sheet in bed with you one night, then putting it on his crib -- it will have your scent and may help him fall asleep. I only wish I had tried the melatonin earlier -- I barely remember those 3 years (during which I had another rough pregnancy and delivery). It saved us. (We buy the Natrol melatonin via Amazon.) Good luck, and definitely look at diet issues as well - all my kids had sensitivities to foods (dairy, eggs, food dyes). It could be just a simple diet issue.
The 90-Minute Baby Sleep Program worked well for me! I was walking around timing everything for a while though! http://www.amazon.com/90-Minute-Baby-Sleep-Program-Natural/dp/0761143114
We followed the advice in Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. Even though my son started sleeping through the night at 6 weeks, he would still wake up sometimes. Once he turned 4 months, we let him cry it out for a couple of nights and then after that, he was able to self-soothe himself to sleep. Good luck!
We also read, and loved, The Moms On Call Guide to Basic Baby Care (http://www.amazon.com/Moms-Call-Guide-Basic-Baby/dp/0800731883) My mother in law bought it for me when I was pregnant, and I thought it was really helpful :)
You know it's dangerous to say "suggestions welcome" : ) But, honestly, do what works. If that means sleeping with you or near you, so be it. I don't really worry about sleep training (crying it out and such) until they are a year old and are eating solid foods regularly. I have two boys, ages 5 and 2. Now if sleeping with you does not let you sleep then perhaps you have work to do, but if everyone sleeps soundly then make sure Ronin is secure and no covers are near him and your husband can not roll over on him and co-sleep. The book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Baby (http://www.amazon.com/Healthy-Sleep-Habits-Happy-Child/dp/0449004023) has been a lot of help to me too. And they make in-the-bed co-sleepers to keep him protected while sleeping in your bed. Oh! I just remembered my first started waking up more at 6 months because he was ready for solids. Is Ronin eating any solids yet?
Oh dear, my first child was much like that. I gave up---I could not take the no sleep or the screaming-- and put her in bed with my husband and I and we all got great sleep and cuddles and she stayed there until she was old enough to want to sleep in her bed. :) Good luck!
Also, all children are different. They will sleep eventually, just figure out what works for your family to get the most sleep at this stage. It will pass. Babies grow so fast. Hugs to you.
co-sleep? i know its not for everyone but if I didn't I would lose my mind fro the lack of sleep. I just roll over and pop a boob in and off to slumber we both go. However, my girl is only 2 months old but if I remember correctly from my 8 yr old it worked wonders!
co-sleep!
I did babywise and cant say enough positve things about it. There are a lot of people who are very critical about the ideas expressed in this book but as my pedi told me "anyone who has ever read the book cover to cover would have nothing negative to say about it" I serioulsy cant say it enough, the book made us all a happy family. My son, who is now almost 4, was sleeping 12 hours a night by 11 weeks. He has always been on a schedule which makes for consistant days, no guess work! I am due again in March and have already started brusing up on the basics. Please feel free to email any questions you have.
Buy The Ferber book and at least read it. We used it when my daughter was 6 mos. old and I'm telling oyu, it was one of the best decisions I made shen she was a baby. After two nights of crying for about 10 minutes, she learned to console herself and fall asleep on her own, and sleeping over 6 hrs at a time from then on. It's not torture- they learn to love their crib and feel safe there. They just need a little training. YOu will feel better and your baby will feel better. Good luck!
i don't really have any specific advice for you. my kids did not sleep through the night until they were 1. the only thing i can say is do what feels and works best for you. i didn't try any specific method because all of the "cry it out" methods made ME cry. if you need to put him in bed with you to get rest. do it! babies aren't babies for long. take yourself off the hook from this - it's not something that will be solved overnight - and babies go through so many phases, what works one night, may not work the next. you are not failing - you are an awesome mom, i am sure. if you can get an extra nap in or have a sitter help out a bit, welcome the help. but let yourself off the hook and it will get better naturally! i've been there.
I was a babywise girl with all three of my kids. If you're sure your kid isn't in a growth spurt and needing extra food (which it sounds like is not the case), I would suggest it. 2 of mine went into a late phase of not sleeping. I had to let them cry. If I remember the rule correctly you can let them cry for about 45 minutes? Then if they're still crying, go in and soothe them, without taking them out of the crib. For my two that needed this, the first night was hard for me, but worked. They went back to sleep right around the 45 minute mark the first night. One of them needed a second night, which he only cried about 20 minutes. Then he was fine. It's hard to say because everyone says letting a baby cry for a long time is mean, but I think there's really just some natural phase where they need it, and without going through it they never learn to sleep on their own. I have soooooo many friends with kids are like 5 years old now and still get up (not crying, but get up all the time) during the night. As a mom who's been there, I can say you NEED sleep. It's highly important!
And an addendum to my former comment, there's so much more in Babywise than sleep. The whole scheudle thing is awesome, and ideas for personal play time, etc.... I highly recommend the book.
Good luck! There's a ton of great advice above. I just want to say that 1) You are not doing anything wrong and you are a great momma! (I remember feeling like a complete failure when my little one didn't sleep). 2) You should read all the books you can get your hands an and try any and all techniques you feel comfortable with 3) Trust your gut and 4) I don't care what anyone says - at 3 in the morning when you haven't slept for 3 months, it's okay to give in and do whatever it takes for both of you to get at least one good night sleep. You'll be much better prepared to tackle the beast the next night. Hugs. You will get through this!
A friend of mine gave me Baby Wise because my first child was still waking in the middle of the night to nurse at 18 months. I used this method with my 2nd through 6th babies, and they were all sleeping through the night at 6-8 weeks. I always recommend the book to new moms.
The No cry Sleep Solution is a great book, as is Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. They are the only two I recommend to my clients.
The No cry Sleep Solution is a great book, as is Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. They are the only two I recommend to my clients.
I am not sure about everyone else but to me all the baby needs is the comfort of the mother after all it spent 9 months in the womb. My husband and I loved co-sleeping with my baby it made it easier to sleep and to nurse ( no waking up to go to another room) and it is almost impossible,unless the mother is on medication, to rollover the child. That was one thing most people warned me about. Most non-western cultures co-sleep with their babies and as far as I know they are still numerous in number . I know it is a different camp from CIO/Faber etc but research suggests that it is very good for the child to recieve that kind of security early on . This is an excellent article on it.
http://www.naturalchild.org/james_mckenna/bedtime_story.html
So if it rings true to you ; I would stand by it even if it means the whole world is against you.
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